I have a (reoccurring) dream.

October 10, 2010

Like most people, I dislike using public bathrooms. The thought of who knows how many hundreds of naked bottoms sitting on the same bacteria laden seat is repulsive. A few years ago, someone finally decided disposable seat covers would be an appropriate addition to public bathrooms, and for this I am thankful. I truly am. But, I don’t use them. Why? Because I’ve been designing my own seat covers out of toilet paper for as long as I can remember, and I find them more effective. I can fashion up to six layers of protection if I find it necessary, (which I usually do) and this puts my mind at more ease than a little piece of tissue that never seems to match the shape of the toilet seat. Still, I avoid using the public restroom if at all possible because it really does gross me out. But lately, they seem to be unavoidable – in my dreams! That’s right, I’ve been having reoccurring nightmares about having to use public restrooms that turn out to be the most obnoxiously disgusting restrooms you’ve ever seen. Ginormous toilets that would leave your feet dangling. Teeny-tiny seats with metal wires around the tops, making for an impossible toilet paper barrier. Rooms full of dirty toilets and no stalls. Worst of all, seats full of wet toilet paper and other unmentionables. And for some reason, in my dream, I have to figure out how to use them. It’s so disturbing. I mean, it’s a dream. Why can’t I just decide, “hey, this is flat out disgusting, I think I’ll find somewhere else to go.” I honestly wake up from these dreams a little bit out of breath from anxiety. What does this mean?

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