My former self must think I’m a hypocrate

September 23, 2012

My daughter’s latest phase is going to the bathroom every 5 minutes. No lies, EVERY FIVE minutes. It’s terribly annoying. We just get settled into a new game of tooth fairy or reading a new book and she says, “pause it mommy, I have to go pee pee.” At first I was very concerned, (bladder infection? UTI? Oh, my gosh, kidney stones???) but thanks to the over the counter azo test strips, I confirmed she has no infection. So I consulted with Dr. Google, and it turns out to be yet another freakishly common toddler habbit I had never heard of. Even if I did, I doubt I would’ve believed that they actually meant the said toddler would want to go potty EVERY 5 minutes. Did I mention it tries my patience? This weekend, we went out for lunch as a family after her gymnastics class. We used the bathroom before we left class, then she said she had to go when we got there, so I took her again. The bathroom was a 3 story elevator ride away. (and by the way, if you’ve never taken a toddler on a trip to a public restroom, it is how you might imagine. . .the germ-o-phobe in my brain is on loudspeaker, and it won’t shut up, “don’t touch, no gross, not that, step away from the bowl, oh. . .ew!”) Anypoop, so we had already been to the bathroom twice in a matter of 20 minutes when she says she has to go again. I was not about to take her, darn it. So I clearly said, “no, we will use the bathroom when we get home!” and of course, my daughter screamed at the unfairness. As we passed by a few onlookers I realized that I must look like the world’s worst mother. I mean, who wouldn’t let their poor toddler use the toilet if she had to go wee-wee? For shame! So these, my friends (all 2 of you) are some things I’d like to explain to my former self:

1. CK Louis says it best here. Don’t judge other parents. 99% of the time, they are probably amazing parents with valid reasons for their seemingly horrible parenting skills. Kids are work. Worthwhile and rewarding, yes, but work!

2. Sending out RSVP’s for wedding invites is not as easy as it seems it should be when it is your own wedding. I know, they couldn’t possibly make it any easier, self addressing the post cards and all, but for some unknown reason the laziness gods make it impossible to put that post card in the mail. Whether it’s the decision of turkey vs. vegetarian or sitter vs. skip, it just doesn’t get done. This is why all weddings should be either byob/meal or strickly private events.

3. Having a cat is not as cool as you once thought. My whole life I despised cats. I was clawed as a toddler and scarred for life, or so I thought. Fast forward 23 years and I meet my first “cool” cat. And for the most part, he is pretty cool. He follows us to the park, and is  chill with all (minus a few one crazy) neighbor-folk. He cuddles like a teddy bear in my arms at night, and comes when I call for him. All signs of a cool cat, right? Here’s the problem: they pee, sometimes outside of the litter box, they scratch your floors, tear your curtains, and make a mess of your couch, they leave fur everywhere, bring in bugs, and leave headless mice for you on the patio. Gross. Cats are not cool, former self, not cool.

4. Stick with photography. I started out as a photojournalism major in college. But, I lived in a small town where I personally knew the photographers of the two local papers. The practical, midwestern, voice in my head told myself that the job prospects would be slim and I should go for a job with a bit more security. So I majored in special education. Now I have pelenty of job security (NO ONE wants to do what I do) but my satisfaction is at an all time low. And I don’t even live in that small town anymore, did I really think I’d stay there forever? It’s not that I hate my job, I can find the positives in what I do, but I’m just not fulfilled. Oh what I’d give to tell my former self, “teaching ain’t as rewarding as everyone makes it out to be, kid. Just keep going, you’re on the right track.” Ideally, someone annonymous would leave us a million dollars on our doorstep so I could stay home with my precious babes, and pick up my photography hobby again. You never know what could happen. . .

I may have to revisit this topic, as I’m sure more will come to me with the passage of time. In a few years I’m sure I’ll be doing weird new things I thought I’d never do that somehow became habits overnight. Life is crazy like that. Speaking of crazy goodness, I’m loving iclw week! Thank you all for stopping by my little piece of the inter-world. I’ve so enjoyed learning everyone’s stories, and reading some wonderful blogs!

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